Chaos & the Geek (Grace Grayson Security Book 1) Read online

I hadn’t left the handcuffs out. I never left the handcuffs out. I never left anything out. Years in the military had ensured that everything had its proper place and it was kept there.

  Rollie leant forward, leaning on the table. “Why is Amber being told to help herself to Chaos’ bathroom?” He cocked his head sideways in that unnerving bird-like manner he had.

  None of the boys had met Amber, but Hawk talked about her all the time. She’d been the main thing to get him through every mission we’d gone on; he’d never been able to bear the idea of not going home to her. And that had kept my arse in gear because I also couldn’t bear the idea of her losing him.

  For a seven year age gap and seemingly nothing in common, they were crazy close. Hawk was constantly talking to her between jobs and from his office. You could always tell when he was on the phone to Amber and when he was talking to anyone else; when he laughed, you gave him as much time as you could.

  “She’s staying with me,” I said, rearranging in my seat. “Now can we get back to the Fortescues?”

  “No,” Nico said simply from behind his computer.

  “She came home to find Dannie fucking her boyfriend,” Hawk explained and the other three gasped like we were fifteen year old girls gossiping crushes. “So she packed up a suitcase and left. We bumped into Chaos in the lobby and he very kindly offered up one of his many spare rooms.”

  “Wait. I thought you hated Amber?” Rollie asked, grinning around his pen.

  I shook my head and rearranged again. “I never hated her. We just never–”

  “Speak. Acknowledge each other. Get along,” Hawk offered and I glared at him.

  “The Fortescues?” I tried.

  “No,” Nico said again.

  “She’s staying with me as long as she needs to. Like Hawk said, fuck knows someone may as well make use of it,” I said. “He doesn’t care. Why do you sorry lot?”

  Rollie was still grinning and Tank was doing a poor job of hiding a smile. Nico would have been smiling, no doubt, if he’d not been focussing on fifty things at once on his laptop as well as the conversation.

  “It’s just an interesting turn of events,” Rollie said. “No more late night post-job parties. You’ll have to actually wear clothes in your own damned house.”

  “I can’t say I make a habit of walking around naked,” I answered. I was too used to being ready for action that I was naked as little as possible.

  Rollie’s grin somehow got wider. “Why wear clothes when you don’t have to?”

  I huffed a laugh. “Yeah. I well remember, mate.”

  “Look, there are a lot of things that scarred me back there. But Rollie’s naked arse has to be the worst,” Hawk laughed.

  Even as we all laughed with him – or smiled in my and Nico’s cases – we all knew that wasn’t close to the truth. But sometimes the only way to give your demons less power over you was by telling yourself they already had no power over you.

  “Fortescues?” I asked again.

  “Go on, then,” Nico said and that was our cue to move on.

  Did it matter that I was the CEO of this company on paper? Did it matter that I was the unspoken leader of this merry band of misfits? Did it matter that I’d led them when we were back in special ops?

  No.

  Around this table, we weren’t even equals. They all decided they were superior to me and Nico was somehow the one who called the shots.

  Not that I cared really. We might not be shot at on an hourly basis anymore. We might not need months of hospital care and rehab after a job anymore. But our job was still stressful and any reprieve I could give my men would only mean that they worked better overall.

  “Right. So Mrs Fortescue desires security for Friday. Can anyone fit her in?”

  They all stared at me with barely concealed hostility, annoyance, or humour. I knew Rollie was one heartbeat away from a not entirely inaccurate inappropriate comment, but he was trying to decide how well his following argument was going to go down if he led with that.

  Rollie opened his mouth, but Hawk beat him.

  “I was hoping I could do Champers Day with Amber?” he said slowly, like it cost him some effort to admit that. Given that Rollie sniggered, it was probably not unwise on his part.

  “Champers Day?” Tank asked before Rollie could shift his inappropriateness to Hawk’s little sister.

  Hawk shrugged. “She aced a major milestone in her thesis and she and that slag were supposed to celebrate. Except said slag was riding her boyfriend. I told Bert I’d celebrate with her as soon as I was free.”

  “We should all celebrate with her,” Tank said evenly and we all looked at him. “Come on, we all know Farrah’s going to side with Dannie.”

  And we were back to teenage gossip.

  It was perhaps a fault of our many years of brotherhood that we knew so much about each other’s lives. But when it was just ten of you in a tent for fuck knew how long with barely any electricity, let alone any other mode of entertainment – newbies learnt quick that wanking lost a lot of its appeal after weeks and with only nine other blokes for company – we ended up talking. Talk was inevitably about the people we missed at home, so we related our letters basically verbatim to each other to pass the time. It was our version of a soap opera.

  “True, those bitches know nothing about loyalty,” Nico added and we all turned to look at him in surprise.

  “I’ve got a favour for Nelson on Friday, though,” Rollie said.

  “Saturday?” Hawk asked.

  “I’ve got a…thing,” Nico huffed.

  Tank said, “I’ve got Falkner Saturday,” but we were all focussed on Nico.

  “What thing?”

  “Like a date thing?” Rollie pressed. “Because I also have a date.”

  “No one’s asking you about your date,” Hawk told him as I said, “Leave O Lord alone.”

  “What about Sunday then?” Tank asked.

  We all looked at each other – Rollie glaring at Nico’s lack of information – and nodded.

  “Okay,” I said. “So, I’ll deal with Mrs Fortescue on Friday. We’ll do Champers Day on Sunday. And we’re not going to bother O Lord about his…thing?” I looked down at the paper in front of me. “Mrs Fortescue only wants one of us until half ten, so that shouldn’t be too hard.”

  There was silence as we all looked between each other. Eight years of knowing these guys and we could communicate with far more than words. When they all looked at me again – except Nico of course who was still busy behind his screen – I nodded.

  “Right. Sorted.” I stretched my neck and pulled my tie lose.

  “Woohoo!” Rollie cried, pushing himself away from the table. “Meeting over.”

  “For me. Haven’t you got to check on Jefferson this afternoon?” I looked at him and he sighed.

  “Yes. I do.” Rollie checked his watch. “Fuck. Now. May I be excused,” he teased and I flicked my hand at him. He chuckled as he got up and swanned out yelling, “Nico, I need new comms. And I promise not to mention anything about dates!”

  Nico’s eyes stayed glued to his screen as he got up muttering to himself and followed Rollie out. I shared a smile with Hawk and Tank.

  “Right. What have you boys got this afternoon?” I asked.

  “Lesson with Mrs Hartley,” Tank answered and we grimaced in sympathy.

  “Have fun with that.”

  “Paperwork,” Hawk sighed.

  Tank snorted. “I think you win the shittest job competition,” he said as he stood up.

  “Ah, I dunno. Chaos has twice as much paperwork and I think he’s got an issue with Falkner to deal with?”

  “Oh, boss wins again!” Tank chuckled.

  I stood up with a wry smirk. “And this is why I’m the boss.”

  “Oh. All work and no play make Chaos vewy gwumpy,” Hawk teased.

  I raised my eyebrow at him. “Chaos is always vewy gwumpy, birdboy,�
� I replied deadpan and he and Tank barked laughter.

  Hawk shook his head and I missed his words as I wandered to my office. We all had our own offices now, thank fuck. Back when we first started Grace Grayson Security, Rollie was threatening to dismember the lot of us with far too much regularity and I was sure Nico had had the place bombed as insurance. Now we all had our own corners to have our personal time and things were a whole lot less tense.

  Sometimes I wondered just how well we were all actually adjusting to civilian life again.

  I sat at my desk and lost myself in my work for the rest of the day. Falkner was a fucking pain in the arse and no mistake. But when it came down to it, the man was scared of me. He put on a good face and his bluster got him so far. But when I put my foot down, he listened.

  So it was after midnight by the time I’d dealt with all the bullshit behind the scenes things I’d never expected to have to deal with when Hawk and I drunkenly decided that we should go into private security; there was money in and out in every fucking direction, schedules, classes, copy for the website, and making sure Nico didn’t get lost in the deep web and remembered to eat or sleep.

  It seemed never ending. But it’s not like I had anything else to focus my attention on. Still, I could only get by for so long telling the team to sleep if I didn’t do it myself.

  So I got up, grabbed my bag and wandered out. The rest of the guys had had jobs or classes all night, so they were gone. Except for one. The one who never left. I walked past his office on the way out and saw he was at least asleep. Sure, he was lying at what looked like a really awkward angle on his couch, his laptop on his legs and his glasses all wonky. But at least he wasn’t still working.

  I ducked in, closed his laptop and put it on his desk, slid his glasses off his face, threw a blanket over him, and turned out his light on my way out. Nico’s and my SUVs were the only ones still in the parking garage and I couldn’t say I was surprised; our building wasn’t known for late-night businesses.

  I was actually yawning by the time I pulled into my park in the Mayhew garage and I let out a deep breath before I dragged myself to the lift.

  “Night, Mr Grayson,” Nigel said too enthusiastically for the time of night.

  “Night, Nigel.”

  “Anything exciting tonight?” he asked as I swiped my card.

  “Just paperwork.”

  “Ah, damn.”

  Nigel had this idea that Grace Grayson Security were like superheroes or something. That we spent all night every night protecting hot young women from alien invaders or the Russian mob or something equally ridiculous. And look, sometimes that wasn’t that far off base – not the aliens obviously – but our day-to-day was just driving people around and standing around while they did any number of fucking boring shit.

  We were masters at blending into their world, but we didn’t belong. We got by on our express ability to go unnoticed. And for Tank that wasn’t as easily said as done; the guy was almost seven feet tall and wide. He wasn’t called Tank for nothing.

  The lift doors finally slid open and I tried not to brush off Nigel’s enthusiastic goodnight. I wasn’t known for my friendliness, but I did try not to be an unmitigated arse.

  I dropped my bag in my office and saw all the lights were on. I had a moment of panic as I heard rustling from the back. I stalked forward, my hand going to the holster under my jacket. And I was not expecting the sight that was waiting for me.

  It wasn’t a burglar. It wasn’t some criminal assailant. It was my best friend’s little sister’s arse as she bent flat over the table and reached for something.

  I froze, not sure what my mind was trying to think.

  It was either going somewhere incredibly inappropriate as though she wasn’t my best friend’s little sister, or nowhere at all because she was my best friend’s little sister, and it just couldn’t seem to decide.

  Amber was wearing tracksuit pants and one leg kicked like that was going to give her more reach. After a bit, she just lay down and groaned.

  “I swear to all you hold holy, Geoffrey! Don’t make me come over there,” she muttered.

  She pushed herself up from the table and huffed, and I dropped my hands to my side. As she turned, she caught sight of me, yelped and fell on her arse.

  I blinked. “You okay?”

  She scrambled up and pushed her glasses up her nose. “Yep.”

  She was wearing another of those huge woollen jumpers, the sleeves so long she had to constantly keep pulling them up. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun with wisps of hair escaping all over her head. Her glasses somehow managed to hide and magnify her eyes as she avoided looking at me.

  Had she been any other woman in the world, I would have known what to do, what to say. I could have been witty, flirty, dismissive, possessive, professional, whatever the situation called for.

  I could deal with flirty women. I could deal with intimidated women. I could deal with stunned and besotted women. I could deal with business women. But this indifference was something, even at thirty, I had no idea what to do with.

  I’d never seen it in any other person but her and it caught me off guard.

  The only thing I’d ever wanted was to at least get along with the most important person in my best mate’s life. Amber meant more than the world to Hawk and I was nothing without Hawk. Our whole lives, I’d tried to work out how to get along with her for him and I just didn’t know where to start.

  “You find everything okay?” I asked, cursing my voice for coming across so emotionless and uncaring.

  I was just tired and the way she confused me made me annoyed with myself.

  She nodded again and looked almost everywhere but me. “Yep. All good. Uh, thanks for…all this…”

  I nodded. “My pleasure. Do you need anything?”

  She shook her head. “I’ll pack this stuff up for you.” She pointed behind her to the spread of papers and books that were taking up most of the dining table.

  I had to say the mess was a surprise. I’d somehow not noticed it. If she needed that much spread, I wasn’t surprised she wasn’t in the second office. As much as mess made my skin crawl, I could live with some papers on the table if it made her life easier.

  “No. It’s fine. Make yourself comfortable.” I undid another button on my shirt like that was going to diffuse my discomfort. “Did you make any progress?”

  She shrugged. “Depends what you count as progress.”

  The tension was high between us, just like it always had been, as we stood silently for far too many minutes.

  Now and then, her eyes slid to me, until she realised I was looking at her. Then she’d tuck her hair behind her ear or push up her glasses and look away again. She’d always been shifty around me, always awkward and uncomfortable. But this was a new level of uncomfortable I didn’t remember seeing in her before.

  She was hunched over and curled in on herself, like she was hiding.

  She tucked hair unnecessarily behind her ear one last time and finally said, “Um, so. I slept until like five. So I’m not going to sleep anytime soon. But I can get out of the way if you’d prefer?”

  I watched her carefully, wondering what was going through her head.

  My training had made me watchful, always looking for motives and more than people wanted you to see. It had saved more than my team’s lives more times than I cared to remember.

  “No. You’re fine. Like I said, make yourself at home. I want you to be comfortable.”

  She gave a small smile, but like she knew it was polite rather than that she was feeling it. “Thanks.” She gave a weird nod. “I’ll get back to it then… Stay out of your way…” she mumbled, pushed her glasses again and turned back to the table.

  I had no idea how to assure her she wasn’t in my way. All I was going to do was find something to eat and go to sleep. I had to be back at the office in something like seven hours anyway.

  S
o instead of telling her she was in no way in my way, I shucked my jacket and dropped it over one of the bar stools. I grabbed a beer and some leftovers out of the fridge, chucked the food in the microwave and popped the top of the beer. I happened to look up and I saw Amber staring at me, her mouth dropped open in a perfect little ‘o’.

  Fuck me.

  My thoughts tried their darnedest to veer towards highly inappropriate at a sight like that and I put a stop to it straight away. There was no way in hell I was allowed to think something like that about little Amber Grace. Not even if the Amber Grace in front of me was all woman now.

  “Did you want one?” I asked her.

  She shook her head and didn’t close her mouth.

  I raised my eyebrow at her as I took a sip. “You okay?”

  She nodded. “You have a…”

  I waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. “You’re going to need to be more specific.”

  “Gun,” she hissed.

  Fuck. “Uh, yeah. Sorry…” I put my hand to it self-consciously. “I usually get changed as soon as I get back. It’s either out of here or locked up. So…you don’t have to worry about it.”

  She nodded, still looking like she was about to run.

  “Amber?”

  “Yeah?” she breathed.

  I think it was the longest time she’d ever looked at me. Or maybe the only time she’d ever actually, properly looked at me.

  “I can lock it up at the office if you’d prefer?”

  She shook her head again, seemed to get control of herself and looked down as she pushed her glasses up again. “No. No. It’s fine.” She waved a hand at me in what I assumed was supposed to be reassuring, but just felt dismissive. “I’m fine.”

  Something about the way she said that hit me. It was too much like a mantra. Too much like the way we laughed about Rollie’s naked arse being the most scarring thing we’d seen together. Too much like she thought it would be true if only she said it enough.

  The microwave beeped and my head was so deep in thought that I actually jumped at the sudden noise. My heart raced like I was back on a mission and we’d narrowly missed a bomb. But Amber’s eyes were focussed on whatever was in front of her, her hand on her forehead and over her eyes like a shield, like she’d rather forget I was there.