Safety in the Friendzone Read online

  “Morning, Kate,” I sang sweetly.

  But Kate knew me better. She grinned ruefully. “Nice try, Zane. You’d better get home quick-smart. They two of you are probably going to be late as it is.”

  Charley groaned in annoyance and rolled herself unenthusiastically out of the bed, arms and legs flailing as wildly as possible in protest. Her brown hair was messily escaping what had been a tidy plait the night before like some sort of attempted bird’s nest. Her light brown eyes were bright and alert as they always were when she woke up.

  “Why didn’t you wake us up earlier?” she asked Kate.

  “Because you’re on the cusp of adulthood and shouldn’t need Mummy getting you out of bed–”

  “Mum.” Charley interrupted evenly, mock-glaring at Kate. “Were you ever actually a teenager?”

  Kate laughed. “Oh, didn’t you know? As soon as you have a baby, you just forget who you were before it.”

  “Har har,” Charley muttered as she rifled in her wardrobe for her school shirt. “You still could have got us up.”

  Kate shrugged as she waved her hand aimlessly. “I fell in that vortex between the bathroom and the kitchen and lost two hours. You guys are on your own.”

  “Was it the beauty vortex?” I asked, “Because you–”

  “Finish that sentence, man, and I’ll kill you myself,” Charley warned.

  I shared a smile with Kate. “No harm in reminding your mum she’s pretty.”

  Kate smiled. “Thank you, Zane. This is why you’re my favourite.”

  “Mum!” Charley snapped.

  “What?” Kate asked, primping her hair. “Vanity will take hold of you one day, my girl. Then you’ll take it anywhere you can get it.”

  “You want to rethink that sentence?” Charley asked her mum with a fake gag.

  “Really no need,” I told her with a wide grin.

  Kate grimaced. “You guys know what I mean. Ugh, teenagers!” she called as she walked out.

  I turned to Charley. “Your mum–”

  “One. More. Word,” Charley said, brandishing the baseball bat Brendan had got her for her ninth birthday – she’d promptly stopped playing baseball at nine years and two months old. Now the bat was only used to threaten me. Frequently.

  I headed for Charley’s window. “You know you love me,” I reminded her as I clambered back out.

  “I’ll deny it to anyone who asks!” she hissed before she shut the window behind me.

  It was the closest she got to admitting it these days, so I’d take it. Charley and I had been part of each other’s lives as long as I could remember. I’d found an old, broken board in the fence at four and there she was; instant playmate. We knew each other’s deepest, darkest secrets. We knew every part of each other – the good and the bad. She’d always been so easy to be around. I’d never had to pretend to be anyone else with Charley. We seemed to argue a lot lately, but I couldn’t imagine my life without her. Kind of like your favourite chair in the living room or your phone, she was a fixture of my world.

  I was grinning goofily to myself as I squeezed my way through to my side of the fence. But I couldn’t help it, Charley just had that effect on me.

  ****

  I drove Charley to school, with the obligatory duets at our loudest approximation of singing, and it all changed the moment I turned the car off.

  It was like, as soon as she stepped onto school property, that there was this invisible line drawn between us and woe to the one who tried to step over it. I never knew what caused it. I mean, I knew Charley and my friends didn’t get on. And her friends were serious dweebs. But I didn’t know why that had to mean we didn’t get along at school.

  Although, it wasn’t like I didn’t enjoy our terribly witty banter. Charley had won our insult trade-offs for as long as I could remember. It was a sore point to my pride, but one day I was going to make my epic comeback. Or just accept her winning because I liked it.

  Thoughts of Charley waned as I went about my day and barely saw her, as they did most days. Particularly when my girlfriend Thea pulled away from me at Recess as we went to meet our friends and sighed heavily.

  “You okay, babe?” I asked her.

  “I just don’t think this is working out, Zane,” Thea said with a shrug.

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. I was sort of devastated – who likes being dumped? But I was also kind ‘eh’ about the whole thing. We’d only been dating a month or two anyway. It was this odd contradiction inside me I wasn’t used to.

  “Uh… Okay,” I said slowly. It came out more of a question as I tried to sort my feelings.

  Thea’s face fell into sympathetic pity and my stomach twisted uncomfortably. “I’m sorry, Zane. I didn’t want to hurt you. But I just thought I shouldn’t string you along anymore, or whatever.”

  I blinked. That last bit had me feeling a little more miffed about the whole thing. “Oh, isn’t that nice of you?”

  Thea beamed. “See? You get it.”

  I nodded. I did get it. I got that, after everything, Thea was dumping me. Me. I was being dumped. I didn’t get dumped. I did the dumping.

  “‘Course,” came out a strangled imitation of my usual confidence.

  What was happening to me?

  I cleared my throat. “Yeah, no. I get it. No sweat.”

  She smiled. “Great. Come on. The others will be wondering where we are!”

  I nodded as she started off. As I followed, I muttered, “Sure. Of course. Because we’re just friends now?”

  I played it cool through Recess. It wasn’t like I was in love with Thea or anything.

  When Bleeker clapped me on the back and asked, “Who’s next, my man?” I grinned.

  “I’m thinking…Abby?” I waggled my eyebrows. “Huh?”

  “Clarke?” Jory asked.

  “Who else?” I scoffed. Like it was a contest. Pfft.

  “There’s Abby Jackson,” Harvey offered.

  We all looked at him.

  “Really?” Jory asked.

  “Abby Jackson?” Bleeker said.

  Harvey shrugged self-consciously. “She’s nice.”

  “Exactly. She’s nice.” Bleeker nodded.

  “Abby Clarke’s hot,” I added.

  “And nice girls only want what?” Jory finished.

  Harvey swallowed. “Commitment?”

  I pointed at him triumphantly while Bleeker said, “Ding, ding. We have a winner!”

  “So, what about Thea?” Harvey asked.

  I shrugged it off like it didn’t bother me. Because it didn’t. “No great loss. I’m young. I’ve got time to play the field.”

  The bell rang and we dragged ourselves to our feet. Harvey still looked a little concerned. Although, as usual with Harvey, I wasn’t sure why. He could be feeling bad for me about Thea dumping me. He could be feeling bad for Thea because I was already moving on. It could be totally unrelated.

  “Zane’s never without for more than a couple days,” Bleeker said confidently, putting an arm around Harvey’s shoulders. “Just wait. He’ll have another girl in no time.”

  I had this annoying little premonition I wasn’t going to have another girl in no time, and I had no idea where it came from. So, I thrust it away with a cocky laugh and did the only healthy thing; ignored it.

  “My only problem will be working out which girl I want next,” I said in response and, in a stroke of pure luck, happened to be walking past Charley at the time.

  “You could at least pretend to have a heart,” she said witheringly.

  I grinned at her winningly, and nodded to the ever-present Jett and Penny.

  Jett was a weird guy. He was captain of the rugby team and yet he…was weird. He actively chose to hang out with the misanthropic geek Charley was at school and Sidekick Penny and, by all accounts, actually enjoyed their company.

  Penny was on the curvier side, shorter even than Charley. She might
have lost the braces, but the buck teeth were still strong with this one. On the rare chance she gave us cause to speak to her, the boys had dubbed her Beaver.

  “Not my job to have a heart, darlin’,” I said.

  Charley rolled her eyes. “Toxic masculinity at its finest.”

  “You’re damn right. I’m all man.” I winked at her.

  Charley looked me over and I suddenly realised I didn’t know the meaning of withering. Charley’s utter disdain gave me chills, which did not sit well with me. It starkly reminded me that I’d been dumped and it made me question why I’d been dumped. Which was ridiculous because I was Zane-freaking-Lindon and I was a god.

  “Only little boys are afraid of their feelings, Zane,” she said in such a tone that even Bleeker took a step back.

  But that was Charley. She was the only person in the school – let alone nerd – who could get away with giving us lip. And I was feeling just self-confident enough that I decided to bring it up.

  “You do so love that pass, don’t you?” I asked.

  Her eyes narrowed. They were close to dangerous, but I didn’t care. “What pass?”

  “The pass to say whatever you want to us,” Bleeker answered for me.

  Charley looked at him like he was nothing, then shifted the gaze to me. “And you’re the only Pop with a pass for being an arsehole. Such fun.”

  “You want fun, Baines?” Bleeker asked her, looking her over suggestively. “I can give you fun.”

  “If I’m ever in need of a grade-B arsehole, I know who to…come to,” Charley answered, practically purring the word.

  Are you kidding me? I thought as I looked between Bleeker and Charley.

  Charlotte Baines could have spat and snarled her way to the top of the food chain at Saint Michaels. But she didn’t. She stuck at the bottom of the pack, being smart and polite and nice to everyone…else. She kept her nose clean unless it was to challenge me and, by extension, the boys.

  I knew we both got something out of it, so I’d never questioned it. But, when she looked at me the way she was just then, I wanted to question it. I didn’t like her looking at me that way, but I could never keep my mouth from saying something more likely to piss her off.

  And right then was no exception. “We all know Charley likes her arseholes Grade-A.”

  “And it’s a job you fill so well,” Charley said with a perfect fake simper.

  “You do know me so well,” I told her.

  “Such fun.” She grimaced at me in what was definitely not pretending to be a smile, then led Jett and Penny away.

  “What’s up her today?” Jory asked.

  “I volunteer to join it and find out,” Bleeker said.

  I smacked him upside the head. “No one’s getting up Charley,” I warned testily. Just the idea of one of them with her made my skin crawl.

  “You want her, you just have to say, mate,” Jory laughed.

  Jory and Bleeker’s laughter faded as that thought got stuck in my head. Which was stupid, because I didn’t want Charley. Not like that. She was my friend. Most of the time. That was all. That’s what we both wanted.

  Chapter 3: Charley

  I didn’t usually leave class in the middle of a lesson. It had very little to do with the fact I had great respect for learning and wanted to do my best, and more to do with extreme laziness. Why get up twice, and all that.

  But there were extenuating circumstances that had me making my excuses that day and that subsequently had me walking back to class when Zane came careening into me. Our faces smushed into each other as our bodies crashed together. His hands went to my arms to steady us and he grinned at me like it was totally normal to be literally running into me in the hallway.

  “Ouch!” I said pointedly, waiting for an explanation I doubted I wanted.

  His grin got wider, if that was even possible. “Shh!”

  I heard someone call his name and a feeling of unsurprised dread settled in my stomach. I frowned at him. He looked around the hall quickly.

  “What did you–?” My accusation ended in a yelp as he pulled me into the closest cleaning closet.

  He closed the door, pressed me against the wall and put his hand over his mouth as he peered at the tiny crack between the door and the frame as though he could see out of it. His cheek was right beside mine, exuding heat. His body was pressed up against mine, also exuding heat. I felt his stomach against mine. His thigh was hard against my far squishier one. His chest was hard up against my boob like it was completely irrelevant.

  I felt like I was exuding a hell of a lot of heat.

  Suddenly my breath seemed heavy in my chest and I was hyper aware of Zane’s nearness. I could barely see him, but I could feel him. I could feel his presence as though he was touching me far more purposefully than he actually was. I could feel it across my skin like a caress that spread like goose bumps. My mind went blank. My heart fluttered unnervingly in my chest and all I could do was blink.

  “Zane Lindon!” was called sporadically – and in varying degrees of authoritative and desperate – in the hall, getting closer then moving away again as whichever teacher was after Zane wandered the halls looking for him.

  And Zane never moved. He just kept his hand over my mouth as he started shaking with silent laughter, blissfully unaware that I felt like I was about to have a heart attack. It wasn’t until the coast was apparently clear that he finally took his eye off the door and looked at me. Only his face was still super close to mine and this just had the added benefit of meaning we looked right into each other’s eyes.

  My eyes had adjusted to the light and I could see him a little better. I could see the laughter still shining in his eyes.

  And for the briefest of seconds, I felt a thing.

  A thing I didn’t feel with Zane.

  A thing that made something in me hitch and, while my body relaxed, my brain panicked.

  It was the quickest of quick moments but, once I felt it, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop analysing. Did it happen? Was it just me?

  There was something in the humour of Zane’s eyes, in the soft tip to his half-smile, that mirrored whatever crazy momentary feeling I’d had. But that was stupid. Wasn’t it?

  I took tiny, shallow breaths in an attempt to draw less attention it, or maybe just to stop my boob getting even more squashed against his chest, which was feeling mighty toned just then. Because something about this situation felt wrong in how not wrong it felt.

  I cleared my throat, afraid to move and brush more body parts together, and angled my eyes to his hand. His huffed breath brushed my face and I could tell he’d had Solo at lunch – there was that familiar lemon-y scent to his breath. He slowly took his hand off my face and I wondered if he was trying to move as little as I was.

  My imagination was at the precipice of going to town on this whole situation. Had I been squashed in a cupboard with anyone but Zane, it would have dived right in. And I would have let it wallow in whatever sordid muck it found down there.

  Probably.

  I’d never been in the situation.

  Knowing my luck with boys, it was something that was never to be repeated and the tantalising hints of imagery that played at the edges of my mind were many wasted opportunities. But I wasn’t going to let that be my reason for giving into them.

  This was Zane for cripe’s sake.

  Zane who was, for the first time in three and a half years, still single over a week after his most recent break up.

  I was just having a what-if moment. We all had them. Surely it was virtually impossible to be friends with anyone from your preferred sex without it happening at least once. I’d had the moment unashamedly with Jett. True, it took all of less than a millisecond for me to decide that was a nope, but it still happened.

  I’d never even begun to think about that moment with Zane until now.

  And now that it had started, I refused to let my brain f
inish it. I did not want to know if there was a possibility of a Zane and me. I didn’t care if I had even the smallest capability of liking him more than friends. Because if I did – quite aside from the complete ruination of our current perfectly dysfunctional relationship – Zane was incapable of being interested in anyone that was not a clone of every ‘hot girl’ from every movie ever.

  It was settled.

  No one liked anyone.

  So, why weren’t either of us moving?

  Why were we both still just standing there, him pressed against me, as we looked into each other’s eyes in a way we never had before?

  Someone had to break whatever spell we’d fallen under, because this was getting beyond ridiculous. I just couldn’t think of anything to say. Every time I thought about opening my mouth, it was like the ability to speak just deserted me. The scary thing was that I didn’t know if it was because I didn’t really want to break the spell, or if I was afraid breaking it would prove it was real.

  There was a voice outside the door and both Zane and I jumped. Our bodies brushed together with a zing of electricity before he took a step back.

  And, just like that, everything was back to normal again. At least, that’s what I was going to tell myself.

  “Uh…” Zane started, then cleared his throat. He shifted his feet as he looked down at them. “Sorry about that.”

  “No. Totally fine. Happens.” Where the hell was my wit? Where were my comebacks? My banter? I felt totally naked.

  Zane’s seemed to be fully functioning. “You often get dragged into cupboards?”

  I smoothed my shirt completely unnecessarily and noticed his eyes follow the action. Wasn’t doing that again in a hurry. “Sure. Crazy life I lead.” Oh, my God. It was like I was tapped out or something.

  “Definitely. We could all do with some more cupboard...time.”

  I took back everything I said about Zane appearing fully functional.

  “Uh. So, I should be in class. If you don’t need any more aiding and abetting, I should get back,” I said, pointing at the door.

  He nodded quickly. “No. Sure. Why not.”