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  Damned if I know

  NEW ADULT/ADULT BOOKS

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  the Damned Trilogy: Book 3

  Damned if I know

  Elizabeth Stevens

  Kinky Siren, an imprint of Sleeping Dragon Books

  Damned if I know

  by Elizabeth Stevens

  Print ISBN: 978-1925928259

  Digital ISBN: 978-1925928242

  Cover art by: Izzie Duffield

  Copyright 2020 Elizabeth Stevens

  Worldwide Electronic & Digital Rights

  Worldwide English Language Print Rights

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any form, including digital and electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the prior written consent of the Publisher, except for brief quotes for use in reviews. This book is a work of fiction. Characters, names, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  For Benjamin

  Contents

  Drake

  Wren

  Drake

  Wren

  Drake

  Wren

  Drake

  Wren

  Drake

  Wren

  Drake

  Wren

  Drake

  Wren

  Drake

  Wren

  Drake

  Wren

  Drake

  Wren

  Drake

  Damned if I know

  Thanks

  My Books

  About the Author

  Drake

  For a guy who’d never thought he’d ever get married, there was something quite surreal about finding myself married something like three times over now. A least, it was to the same woman.

  The same incredible, brave, sexy, albeit fragile woman.

  Wren was everything I never knew I needed or wanted. And I was sorely tempted to thank Grandad that she’d literally walked through Hell and decided to stick it out with me. I could think of nothing that scared me now.

  We spent a blissful two-week honeymoon in the Caribbean – somewhat clichéd but, as soon as Wren had heard ‘private island’, there was very little I could do to dissuade her. And the way her face lit up in excitement, I didn’t really try very hard.

  Truman, Ignacio and Kyle had come along with us under the pretence of playing servants.

  In reality, only Truman really fulfilled his purpose, and that was when he wasn’t lounging on a beach chair with a thick book and a mojito.

  Ignacio made it his mission to keep the surrounding sea shark-free. Until he decided he wanted a shark friend, then he stopped fighting them and went about trying to catch one. They were crafty though, and particularly wary after he’d gone around punching them in the nose.

  And Kyle spent his time as only Kyle could. He built sandcastles. He went snorkelling. He waded in rock pools and played with sea creatures. He danced in a waterfall. And he collected about a hundred shells a day for Wren.

  But the boys being distracted had suited Wren and I just fine. When we weren’t strolling along forest paths or along the incoming tide at sunset, we were in bed.

  For the first time in millennia, a part of me craved a normal life – a human life. I had a taste of it with her and I knew what I was missing out on. But my wife was truly Lucifer’s daughter-in-law and she was happy to go home after our two weeks were up.

  And if I couldn’t live on Earth, then I’d bring a piece of Earth to Hell for my wife. And I’d done so in the shape of a house. It was nothing like Dad had had in mind when I first mentioned it to him. I’d managed to persuade him to make it something a little less ostentatious. Not that it was all that hard. It seemed, when it came to my wife, my father was a bit of a soft touch.

  So, we had a modest home sitting in the middle of Hell. It was the sort of thing that Wren could feel comfortable hosting her human friends and family in.

  The first time she saw it was the most rewarding.

  We’d just walked back into Hell, through one of the many back doors I enjoyed as a perk of my birth. I took her through the many winding corridors, nodding a curt greeting to anyone who acknowledged us. Finally, we came to the relatively out of the way tunnel between Cerberus’ domain and the Unicorn Fields – save me if I wanted to make sure my wife had some extra protection close by and something nice to look at.

  “What is this?” she asked with a smile as we paused outside.

  From the front, it didn’t look like much, granted. Unlike our previous room, it was more than just a door. It was a grand front door, windows and a balcony essentially carved into the wall of the tunnel. If that was how things worked in Hell. On the inside, it was so much more.

  “This is our new home,” I told her.

  Kyle squeaked in excitement and ran to one of the windows, his snorkel smushed against it to see inside.

  Wren took my hand and I looked at her to find her smiling. “Our new home?”

  I nodded. “Yes. I thought you’d probably want more than just a bedroom. If Harmony or your family came to visit for example, you’d probably want somewhere they’d,” I cleared my throat, “feel more comfortable.”

  “So, you got me a house?”

  “I…organised a house. My father will want all the credit for the actually procuring, no doubt.”

  “Can we go in?” she asked and I could see by the look in her eyes that she was happy.

  “Of course.”

  “Kyle first!” he called as he ran to the door and wrenched it open.

  Ignacio hurried in behind him, carrying his comically large shark with its fishbowl over its head to let it breath.

  “Shall I put the kettle on?” Truman asked us as he walked to the door with us.

  “That would be lovely, Truman. Thank you,” Wren said as she squeezed my hand.

  At the threshold, I swung her into my arms and carried her across.

  “How very romantic of you,” she teased as her arms went around my neck.

  “I call it protecting you from worrisome demons who might be lurking about our new home.” I planted a quick kiss on her lips.

  She laughed. “I don’t think you have to worry about Kyle or Ignacio.”

  “You assume they’re the only demons I’m concerned about.”

  “You’re the prince of Hell, what demon would possibly be stupid enough to be in your home?” she asked me.

  I conceded that one. The only kind I’d worry about were the charred winged kind, and it would take a very bold arsehole to not only enter my father’s realm, but my own house. That was providing he made it past Cerberus, of course.

  I let her down and didn’t take my arm from her waist as she looked
around the house, such as it was.

  Downstairs was split into formal and casual living and dining areas. There was a kitchen – although no one expected any of us to use it – and a bathroom – again not strictly necessary, but I anticipated it would make Wren feel more comfortable to have one. Plus, I quite enjoyed our joint showers.

  “This is so nice,” she breathed happily.

  “You like it?”

  She nodded. “I love it.”

  “I love you,” I told her as I pulled her towards me.

  I felt her smile against my lips. “I love you.”

  “Come see upstairs. Kyle has his own bed!” he said and we looked up to see him halfway up the stairs.

  Wren took my hand and we followed Kyle up.

  I took a cursory look around for Ignacio but didn’t see him or his shark.

  Upstairs consisted of four bedrooms – why, I don’t know – and two bathrooms – one off the main bedroom. There were windows even where it should be looking out into nothing but russet stone wall. But, through the magic of Hell, there were different scenes outside each one. There was a forest, a beach, rolling hills, and even an underwater one.

  Wren wrapped her arms around my neck. “And which room’s ours?” she practically purred as she pressed her body into mine.

  I picked her up and her legs went around my waist automatically. As I kissed her, I walked her to our room.

  “See. Kyle’s bed!” he said proudly.

  Wren pulled away to turn her head and see where he was. I followed her gaze and found him sitting on a miniature bed at the foot of ours. It was complete with a pillow and a Disney Princess duvet cover. He was sitting on it proudly, still wearing his snorkel and mask.

  “That’s a nice bed you’ve got there, Kyle,” Wren said.

  He bounced on it. “Perfect,” he sighed happily.

  Wren turned back to me with a big smile. “Well, someone’s comfortable.”

  I stretched my neck and took a deep breath. “We might need to get him his own room,” I said quietly.

  Wren laughed and hugged me close. Her lips found mine before I’d had time to think about it and I held her tightly. Just as I took a step towards the bed, there was a very familiar voice from behind me.

  “Uh, sir. Your father will be ready for you soon.”

  With an audible grunt of annoyance, I gently dropped Wren to her feet and turned to look at Neville.

  “Come in, Neville. Make yourself at home.”

  He grinned his gap-toothed grin. “Thank you, sir. But I do have places to be. I am only tasked with informing you that his devilness is almost ready to welcome you home.”

  “Almost ready as in…?” Wren started.

  “As in if you dawdle, he will be ready for you.”

  Wren and I exchanged a look and I didn’t have to read her mind to know she was thinking the same thing as me; my father was never behind schedule. He should have been ready now. He should have been waiting for us. If he was at his happiest performing for an audience, he was at his second happiest when he was waiting on an audience.

  “Great,” I said to Neville. “We’ll be along shortly.”

  He gave as low a bow as his rotund body and lack of waist would let him, then scurried out.

  I wasn’t even concerned about the lack of privacy we obviously had in the house just then. I was more concerned about what was going on with my father.

  “We’re not going to dawdle, are we?” Wren asked.

  I shook my head. “No.”

  She nodded and I took a moment to really appreciate this human. She was braver than I could even fathom – being immortal and virtually unkillable gave you a rather superficial sense of true bravery – and she had fully accepted and immersed herself into my world. For me. I wanted to say I wasn’t worth it, but I didn’t want to risk her changing her mind.

  “I’m all in this,” she said softly, cupping my cheek.

  “What?” I asked, leaning into her hand.

  “I’m not going anywhere. No matter what.”

  She must have guessed what I was thinking by the look on my face. I gave her a quick kiss.

  “Me either,” I said.

  “Good. Then let’s go see what’s wrong together.”

  We hurried down the stairs. Ignacio was waiting for us at the front door. Sans shark.

  I paused for a moment, wondering if it was worth asking him what he’d done with it.

  “She’s safe,” he grunted as though he knew what I was thinking and I felt like it was going around suddenly. “I made her a tank.”

  I decided not to ask him to elaborate and reminded myself we were back in Hell. Things just were down here.

  Kyle was still snuggled in bed and Truman was probably reading a magazine and drinking a mojito, but Ignacio came with us.

  Wren and I walked into Dad’s throne room and saw he was leaning on his tactics table. His brow was furrowed and he wore the simplest, most boring suit pants and shirt combination.

  Next to him was Mammon, who was a fearsome sight wherever you beheld him and whoever you were. In Hell, his flaming crown just sat directly upon his dark wavy hair. He, like my father, wore a suit and a scowl.

  Something wasn’t right.

  “Yes, Mammon,” my father huffed. “I’m sure we’ll work it all out. It’s not the first time this has happened.”

  Mammon nodded.

  “Perhaps not. But we should–”

  Dad looked up and saw us. “There are my two favourite love-birds!”

  Even for him, the joviality was forced.

  “What’s wrong?” Wren asked, obviously noticing as well.

  Dad’s smile was strained. “Wrong? Why would anything be wrong, daughter?” he asked.

  I frowned. “What is it?”

  “Would you believe me if I told you there was a problem with the catering tonight?” Dad tried.

  “No,” both Wren and I said.

  Dad sighed dramatically and waved his hand. “Fine. There seems to have been…” He paused, “a slight implication – shall we say – to our little trip to Earth.” He flicked his hair back. “Nothing unmanageable or unexpected.”

  “What kind of implication?” I asked.

  “The embargo kind,” Mammon said and Dad threw him a dirty look like he was telling all the pinky-sworn secrets.

  “Embargo?” Wren said.

  Mammon nodded. “All of Earth is restricted to necessary beings. No one goes up without authorisation from Michael himself.”

  I looked at Dad, my eyebrow raised in question.

  Dad huffed and nodded. “Yes. It’s not great.”

  “Not great?” I exclaimed. “He doesn’t get involved unless it’s really bad.”

  “Or he’s bored.”

  “He’s not bored,” Mammon and I both said.

  Dad waved his hand. “Regardless. We don’t need to worry ourselves about that. We’ve got two souls back where they belong and it’s time to celebrate! Leave Michael to his clean up.”

  I sighed. “Clean up?”

  “Irrelevant!” Dad cried happily, but I could see it didn’t reach the depths of his eyes.

  He might not have been able to lie, it might have been irrelevant to the fact he wanted to forget it was happening, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t worried about it all the same.

  I might not have known why he was worried, but I knew enough about him to be worried myself. It was the unplaced worry eating away at me that had me realising that something was already bothering me. I had the beginnings of that foreboding feeling in my stomach. My fingers were suddenly restless, calmed only by taking Wren’s hand in mine.

  Something definitely wasn’t right. Something was coming.

  I looked at my father and I knew he knew it as well. I don’t know if he read my mind, but I was pretty sure neither of us knew what we were supposed to be worrying about. But we were both going to do whatever i
t took to not worry anyone else.

  So, I let him get on with his party.

  We were welcomed back to Hell, the prince and heir and his human princess, with all the fanfare I’d expected from my father.

  Persephone and Esther were in attendance. As were a few of my half-brothers, two of Persephone’s ‘secret’ lovers, and a whole host of demons in various forms.

  There was dinner and a lengthy show – with an appearance from the resident juggling unicycle-riding guard demon. There were puppets dancing – Dad’s favourite – and forced laughter. On the surface, everything looked fine. But underneath, the ripples of change nagged.

  I realised that, from the moment we’d stepped foot through the gate, things felt different – maybe bad different, maybe not bad different – as we went about creating some sort of normal life. It wasn’t just the portent-y feeling in me. It was Wren as well.

  She seemed more relaxed somehow. Like she was truly home and hadn’t in fact been dragged back to Hell again. She had this confidence in herself that fucking shone from her. She was strong. She was decided. She was radiant. Had I not already been irrevocably in love with her and bound to her until the end days, then that would have done it.

  For most of that first night home, she didn’t seem to notice anything was wrong. She just enjoyed herself. But, now and then, I noticed she’d look at me or my father as though she could tell.

  She didn’t say anything about it and, when we got back home, I did my best to make sure she only thought and felt happy things.

  Wren

  Being back in Hell really did feel like a homecoming. As much as I was sure it seemed hotter than it had last time, it felt right. Hell felt like the place I was supposed to be.

  With Drake back on the job, it was up to me to find something that could be my new normal. I wasn’t just down here passing the time anymore and I didn’t have exams to study for. So, I needed something to occupy my time while Drake was off torturing souls.